why women can't cut their hair; who names the child

Question:

1. I would like to know why aren't women allowed to cut their hair on their head? If we wear the hijab when we go out of our house, i don't understand how what my hair looks like can be an issue? I have extremely long hair and to wash and take care of it is an effort.

2. Who has the responsibility of naming a child? I will inshallah be a mother one day and i would like to have the right and responsibility to name my own child. My husband would like his father to name our baby but i do not agree with this and want to know what Islam says about this topic.

3. I am newly married and at times my husband and i fight very badly. It got so bad at one stage that i had to call my father because i could not bear the emotions i felt. We have discussed the problem and before sleeping i asked my husband for forgiveness for any pain or hurt i may have caused him. I asked my forgiveness with pure iklaas. He has not said anything to me, if he still harbours ill feelings for me will the angels curse me at night and will Allah be angry with me or am i forgiven in the eyes of Allah? Also my father in law was there at the time we fought and he was quite upset that we fought. He told us to make up, forgive and move on, but he is now cold and distant towards me and ignores me and doesn't talk to me. I am still doing my duty as a daughter in law to him, my husband is also barely talking to me. Please tell me by islam what should i do to take care of myself in this situation. I would like my marriage to work but do not know what my husband wants, can i do istikara and ask Allah if my marriage is the right choice for me?

Jazakallah khairan

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

1.     Islam has made it impermissible for women to cut the hair on their head just as it has made it impermissible for men to trim their beard shorter than a fist in size. Covering the head with hijab will not make it permissible for a woman to cut her hair, just like covering the body will not make it permissible for a man to get a tattoo on his body. Every teaching of the Shariah has great wisdom behind it. However, it is not necessary that every individual can understand the wisdom behind each teaching. Hence, we must follow the teachings of the Shariah regardless of whether we can understand the wisdom behind them or not.

2.     A child should be named with the consent of both parents. This is not a matter of arguing and quarrelling. However, if you two cannot come to an agreement then the father has the right to name the child or whoever he wishes.

3.     The first thing is that you should control your temper and try to fulfil the rights of Allah and your husband. After that, if you have sincerely asked forgiveness from your husband, like you mentioned in the question, and have taken all possible measures to please your husband, then in this case you will not be considered sinful and will not be the target of angles’ curse. If your husband is still not talking to you, then my advice would be to actually sit with your father in law and your husband and discuss the issue. If that does not solve the problem then involve some elderly people from your family like your father, and then let them come to an agreement.

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Qazi Muhammad Anas

Checked and approved by:
Mufti Faizal Riza
29/9/2012

Darul Ifta Australia
www.mufti-online.net

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